


A Thing Of Beauty

by B_Uthoughtwrong



Series: He Told Me I Had A Supernatural Smile [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Insert, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-03 19:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8727349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Uthoughtwrong/pseuds/B_Uthoughtwrong
Summary: Castiel had a soft spot for the hunter they have had hunting along with them. She had a violent past which caused her violent nightmares, making her believe that she was a monster; she'd know, after all, she hunted them for a living. When she winds up in the woods, her angel comes and shows her kindness that can make any stone turn into putty. Who knew the angel could be a modern day poet?





	

**Author's Note:**

> -please tell me I didn't spell angel as angle in the fic-
> 
> A THING OF BEAUTY BY JOHN KEATS  
> A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:  
> Its lovliness increases; it will never  
> Pass into nothingness; but still will keep  
> A bower quiet for us, and a sleep  
> Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.  
> Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing  
> A flowery band to bind us to the earth,  
> Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth  
> Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,  
> Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkn'd ways  
> Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,  
> Some shape of beauty moves away the pall  
> From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon,  
> Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon  
> For simple sheep; and such are daffodils  
> With the green world they live in; and clear rills  
> That for themselves a cooling covert make  
> 'Gainst the hot season; the mid-forest brake,  
> Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms:  
> And such too is the grandeur of the dooms  
> We have imagined for the mighty dead;  
> An endless fountain of immortal drink,  
> Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink.  
> 

I woke up cold and sweaty. My nightmares were reminding me of every detail of every single crime I have ever done. I felt like I was choking and my heart rate wasn't doing anything but make my throat feel tighter, making it hard to breathe. I turned to see that the sun was already out and it was probably passed breakfast now.

I ran my hands through my hair and got out of my bed. The strong smell of motel, and my room in particular, was a mix of cheap detergent and even cheaper coffee that made my head feel like it was melting. I huffed and rubbed my face out of frustration. I then decided to go take a bath and figuratively wash the nightmares away.

I got my towel and went to the bathroom, stripped all my clothes off, and stepped into the cheap shower bath, turned the knob, causing cold water run down my body. It caused me to shiver and wince but it did what part of what I wanted, it woke me up.

 

I washed my hair and body, massaging my skin. The over fragrant soap and shampoo made my head hurt even more. I felt a heavy weight on my chest as the violent thoughts rushed through my mind once more. I felt like I wanted to sink to the ground and never return. I started crying, my tears mixing with the tap water. I put the plug in the tub and waited for the water to rise. Once it was full enough, I sat down and rested in the water.

I then heard a knock on the door, causing my body to tense up for a second. It was probably one of the Winchester brothers, or both of them.

I was too lazy and gloomy to move, so I shouted  _help,_ loud and clear.

 

Immediately, the Winchester brothers burst into the room, Dean holding an aerosol can and Sam holding scissors. I sat in the tub, all nonchalant, with my hands on either side of it and explained my  _'situation'._

"So, let me get this straight, you called for help, just because it would be faster than telling us to come in?" Sam asked annoyed as he threw the scissors to the other side of the room, Dean doing the same to the can he held.

The brothers then turned around to walk off but I stopped before they could go anywhere. "You two are already here, so why don't you just say whatever it is you want to,  _then_ leave." I said turning my body to them, holding onto the rim of the tub with my two hands, sinking my torso in the water so that they didn't see my breasts.

Dean didn't care about that though, not one bit, and didn't bother pretending _not_ to look at them. He shamelessly took in my exposed skin, as I rolled my eyes in partial disgust and amusement for his careless actions, and snapped my fingers saying, "Focus Winchester."

Dean didn't say anything, he only realized be was being talked to when his brother nudged his arm and nodded disapprovingly. "Hmm." Dean hummed, turning away from my body to turn to his brother, then turned back to me.

He just unknowingly froze. Sam rolled his eyes at him then proceeded to say what it is they needed to. "We just came to tell you that we don't have a case today and the _three_ of us have plans to go out and eat later." The _third_ one was Castiel, obviously.

I nodded knowingly, then said that I'd would rather sleep in for the day but would join in if I changed my mind.

 

Sam nodded, then started walking away, while his brother practically drooled from where he stood. The younger one groaned, and pulled Dean out of the room as I lowly chuckled, and sunk back into place. I started to feel hot tears roll down my face again as I remembered my nightmare about _that_ night. The night that...  _made me into this_.

 

_We broke into Mrs. Peña's house. It was 3 am, and we had our balaclavas on. At this time, everyone in the neighborhood was asleep. My brother and I easily got into the woman's bedroom, as there was a tree just outside her window and she was too old to remember to lock anything._

_It felt wrong to do this, but... at the end of the day, it's always either them or me._

_I walked across the room, following every step my brother made, and we slipped downstairs-- down-downstairs into the basement where we recently found out the old lady hid her ancestor's jewelry there._

_My brother got all the jewels he could get his hands on, even the mirrors and combs and clips in the drawers and jewelry boxes. I just watched as he did the dirty work and hoped that we didn't get caught._

_Once he was done, we quietly ran upstairs, and headed for the door. But there was something unexpected that changed everything. She gasped, it was Mrs. Peña's nurse, and ran off to call the cops. My brother was too quick for her though. He pulled his gun and shot her down._

_That sound was more than enough to alert everyone in the neighborhood so we had to make a quick escape, but I was like a deer caught in headlights though, too shaken to move a muscle. My brother had to pull me by the hand so I'd follow him in out of the house. We ran out the door and headed to our secret shed in the middle of the woods. We were fast, but not fast enough to out run the police cars on our trail._

_We were halfway there but the police caught up.They got us surround and I knew that we were done for. My brother, however, was not giving up that easily, he never did. He turned to me first then said mouthed 'get down' and before I was on the floor, he shot the policemen one by one. Out of eight, there were only 4 left to fight back. It wasn't soon til he was brought to the ground, causing him to drop the bag of jewelry right next to me._

_I shouted in horror and ran to my brother. I pulled on my his collar and chanted, 'you're fine, you're fine', tears immediately falling from my eyes, down to his face. The police tried to take me away... but what they didn't know was that my brother taught me how to... survive in this wicked world._

_Once the policeman placed his hand on my shoulder, I lunged at him and punched his face repeatedly. I got a hold of his gun and shot him, along the remaining police before they could spell Mississippi. When I had realized what I had done, I shouted in horror once more, and ran off with the jewelry, never coming back. I was 16 when this happened and I was never the same after it._

* * *

 

I decided to go an amusement park and, well... try to amuse myself. I was still sitting in the tub and had stopped crying by now. I only got out because I was losing heat and had started to shiver. I got dressed quickly, not caring much about what I was going to wear. I dried my hair off with my towel then combed it til the tangles were gone.

I walked out to the hallway and called out to see if maybe the Winchesters were still here. "Dean, Sammy?" I repeated til I realized they weren't here. I could've also called the other person we were hunting with... the other  _angel,_ but I knew that even if he wasn't here, he would be if I called, and right now, it would be best I be alone.

 

I was now at the town's small amusement park and, though small it was, it was loud and alive.

I went to a basket ball booth and threw as many balls in to the hoop as I could in under a minute; I got 56. After, I went on some rides and ended with the biggest roller coaster they had.

I got on the ride with a bunch of strangers and went off with the wind... but much, much faster. We climbed to the top of the rails, then dropped fast down and went in loops twice, thrice, and more than that _(I'd say frice but I know I'm hungry)_. It made my heart race as fast as my mind. When I got off I felt sick and puked all over a poor bush.

I felt like I was dying. I needed something... I needed a _hug._

I walked off and headed back to the motel. I walked passed people who looked at me with pity, some with disgust. I didn't mind, if I were them, I'd look at myself the same way, _heck,_ I already do.

I wandered off to wherever and found myself at a diner. I looked at the three men at the window and saw that it was Sam, Dean, and Casitel. They were laughing and enjoying themselves as they drank and ate their food. Why should I ruin their fun? I was just a lone hunter they gave charity to, they weren't my friends. It wouldn't matter if I died, why burden them with my _ick?_

I turned around and wandered into the city, winding up into the woods.

 

I then stopped walking and sat down on the dry leaf covered ground. There was a crunching sound when I did so, and I immediately started to cry again. That was exactly the time I heard someone say my name. The way it was said was so delicate, soft, and caring it calmed me down, immediately, allowing one last tear fall from my eyes.

"My darling... my dear, why are you crying? Why are you here?" he said in rhyme. I saw the face of who said the words and chuckled upon doing so.

"Castiel. Are you trying to write a poem... or a rap song?" I asked as he knelt in front of me and carefully cupped my face. He examined my face, then my arms and turned back to me. 

"A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:  
Its loveliness increases; it will never  
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep  
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep." he said as he looked into my eyes.

I opened my mouth to say something but was in a complete loss of words. _"John Keats."_ he then muttered as he pulled me to stand up. I did just that as he then pulled me into an embrace. "Are you hurt? Were you brought here against your will? Shall I draw my sword an-"

"Castiel, I'm fine." I said with a soft voice. He knit his eyebrows, pulled away, then said my name once more, making me turn to him.

"You cannot honesty expect me to believe that you are fine when you are obviously not." he clenched his jaw and his face hardened, but quickly after I sniffled, his face softened and he then continued to speak. "I may not know a great many things about this human world but I am not a fool who cannot distinguish joy from sorrow, and truth from deceit."

I chuckled and asked, "Was that _John Keats_ too or some other poet and/or rapper."

 

He smiled softly, "No, that was me. Also, John Keats was a poet, not a rapper, but perhaps it could be said he was an old fashioned rapper."

I laughed, "Well, you should probably write some poetry as well. Maybe you'll be a modern day poet." I said in a genuine tone. He chuckled, "Thank you, but I think we should focus on the fact you were crying in the middle of the woods."

Damn, there was no escaping him, huh?

I chuckled, then huffed. I looked at him, bit my lower lip, and nodded my head no. "I-I can't. I can't tell you-- or else you'll never look at me the same way." I took a step back and sighed.

I wanted to run off out of fear and fear of embarrassment, but the way he reacted to my actions, with a knowing nod and a sweet face, I couldn't even move. "Castiel." I whispered softly. He moved closer to me and opened his arms for me to fall into, and that was exactly what I did.

I started crying in his arms and said that I was sorry. "I-I was 16, I was starving so we stole jewelry from a sweet old lady-- an old lady that showed us kindness. After getting all her jewelry, we killed her nurse and the police that came after us-- all 8 of them, and we killed them too. I know what you'll say Cas, _'you're a hunter.'_ But they were people, they were _human,_ not demons or vampires or what; they _weren't_ monsters, and yet I killed them." I said with a defeated sigh. "Then I ran--- I ran, and ran, and never came back."

 

I didn't want to let go, but knew that I had to because why would an angel want a monster in his arms?

 

I broke away from his embrace just as he said something, "You did what you felt was necessary for you and your brother to survive. I would understand why-"

"My brother? I never told you about my brother. How-how did you know- why do you know about him?" I asked, my breath hitching as I did.

He looked at me and sighed in defeat. "You call my name. You called for me... every night. When you do, you're asleep and you're  crying. And you were saying this _other_  name as well, along with mine. I was jealous at first, I thought you had some other angel call to and to watch over you, so I waited for one to arrive. It took me five nights to realize he was your brother, because that one night you said  _'siblings don't leave each other, why did you leave me?'_ " 

Those were the last words I told my brother before I ran off. My breath hitched and it felt like my world was crashing down around me. "I would hold you in my arms, the first nights, and you'd usually calm down right after I did so.  I knew I couldn't keep doing that without your permission though, so instead, I would just stroke your hair and hope you wouldn't have bad dreams anymore."

I felt tear run down my face as I was told this revelation.

"Cas-" I started but didn't continue due to the fact there were a pair of soft lips on mine.

 

He kissed me, he _was kissing me._ It was like I imagined it would be, but even better. I automatically cupped his face and kissed him right back.

The kiss was slow and passionate. He placed his hands on my waist and pulled me closer. With every passing second, electricity rushed through my body. I felt so warm, so wanted, so loved. I never wanted this sensuous feeling to end. It was like heaven was on his lips, a sweet tasting heaven... like chocolate in particular, _a chocolate milkshake._

I broke away from him though and looked at him expectantly. "Castiel. What-"

"I have been wanting to do that for a really long time." he said breathlessly.

 

"I-I don't know-- I don't know what to say... Cas-" 

"Don't say anything, let's walk back home. I just want to you to know that I care for you and that I will always be there for you. If you ever call, know that I will always be there." he said holding on to my hand as I nodded with a soft and thankful smile.

As we walked off, he had let go of my hand, I wrapped my arm around Castiel's back. He didn't seem to mind. "I have been wanting to do that for a really long time too." I said softly with a small smile, making him stop in his tracks. He opened his mouth to speak but I kissed him once more then mumbled, "Don't say anything."

A wide smile spread on his face right after, then grabbed my hand once more, holding all the way through, as we continued to walk back. 

"Cas."

"Yes?"

"Could you continue that poem you were saying a while ago?" I asked as I nuzzled closed to him, making him instinctively wrap his arm around me.

"A thing of beauty by John Keats... you know, I only know of that poem because I wanted a way to tell you how beautiful you are, and because the words I thought of were too... I think the word is, _cheesy_." he said, nonetheless, continuing the poem.

I laughed at him though, making him stop talking, "You do know that I _love_ cheese, right?"

His cheeks turned a shade red as he then asked if I wanted to hear his poem for me. I quickly nodded yes and he then started orating his poem.

"I have seen a whole lot of sadness,  
And a whole lot of pain;  
The break of daylight,  
And the harshest rain;  
I have seen beauty as well  
But none so real;  
I cannot comprehend  
The true way that I feel  
And yet she doesn't know,  
I'd kill for her,  
And sing for her,  
And live for her;  
I'd give her my heart  
Though I know that it's not much  
But in exchange, I wouldn't mind  
If it was just one touch;  
I hope she's happy  
But can only hope for something true  
I hope you know,  
This, I feel only cause of you."

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so I put the author's note down here because I put the poem A Thing Of Love by John Keats up there. The poem at the end, however, is made by yours truly, which is why it is not as good as the other one.  
> I feel like I want to do a part two for this but I kind of don't (haha), but if you want me to, please tell me so I will be motivated to do something.  
> Also, if you have any requests, I'd be more than happy to write a fic for you. I just can't promise it'll be good alright. HAHAHAHAH  
> Sorry if there are typos n stuff and thank you for reading this shitty fic  
> BYEEE  
> xxx


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